


Neither Should You (The Real People Remix)

by Redrikki



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Clones, F/F, F/M, Identity Issues, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-05 18:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20493203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redrikki/pseuds/Redrikki
Summary: Rescuing her clones was the right thing to do. They deserved the right to live their lives and make their own choices. Ava just wished they’d stop sleeping with Gary.





	Neither Should You (The Real People Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Netgirl_y2k](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Netgirl_y2k/gifts).
  * Inspired by [We Should Kiss Like Real People Do](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14445795) by [Netgirl_y2k](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Netgirl_y2k/pseuds/Netgirl_y2k). 
  * In response to a prompt by [Netgirl_y2k](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Netgirl_y2k/pseuds/Netgirl_y2k) in the [2019remixrevivalmadness](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/2019remixrevivalmadness) collection. 

> Title comes from Hozier's "Like Real People Do."
> 
> Also doubles for my Ladies Bingo prompt "mistaken identity."

_i._

“Gary?! Really?”

Of all the problems Ava had anticipated with bringing her fellow clones back from 2213, this had not been one of them. Clearly she lacked imagination. Now, here they were in her office, having the most awkward conversation ever because she’d naively assumed that Ava base programing included actual taste.

“I like him,” Ava, the other Ava, said. She stood nearly at attention with her chin raised just a hair to show she was serious and wasn’t that disconcerting, seeing her mannerisms reflected back at her. “He makes me feel special.”

“Special? You’re a—” Ava literally bit her tongue to keep from yelling out the truth. None of them were special. They were disposable, interchangeable products and Gary only slept with her to live out his fantasy of bagging Director Sharpe. There was something just so painfully earnest in her clone’s expression. The Avas were bred to be intelligent; she’d figure it out eventually, but Ava didn’t want to be the one to break her heart.

“Look,” she said, tiredly rubbing her aching forehead, “sleep with who you want, just not on Bureau time or on Bureau property.” It was bad enough that Ava had to live with the image of their encounter seared into her brain, the last thing she wanted was her subordinates thinking she was into Gary fucking Green. 

The other Ava knew a dismissal when she heard one. She nodded sharply and saw herself out. Ava banged her head against her desk and quietly resisted the urge to scream. Most of the Avas were basically Siri with her face but a few of them had a spark, something that made them like real people. She’d told herself she could’t just leave them there and had done what she could to get them out. It was starting to feel like a bad decision.

_ii._

“How could you? You know how I feel about him.” 

The sound of the argument grew louder as she approached the break room. Ava hesitated, looking down at her empty coffee cup. Wading into a clone catfight was not how she wanted to start her morning, but, on the other hand, coffee. She squared her shoulders and marched onward. She was a highly trained time agent; she could handle this.

“I can’t help it if I’m the one he wants.”

Whoever he was, he probably just couldn’t tell them apart. The two women were completely identical down to their fashion choices. They were also blocking the coffee pot because of course they were.

The one on the right gave an inarticulate shriek of rage and lunged at her sister.

“Ladies, ladies!” Ava shouted, jumping in-between them. “Trust me, no man is worth this.”

She wasn’t sure how she managed to be the only clone who wasn’t straight. She’d say it was because she was the only one who’d been exposed to the overwhelming hotness that is Sara Lance, but she’d had a girlfriend before that. Assuming, of course, her ex wasn’t just an actor she’d only spoken to over the phone. Thanks, Rip, for all the false memories and existential crises. They were the gifts that kept on giving.

“But it’s Gary!”

Ava’s hands curled into fists. Fucking Gary. This was the second time he’d done this. You’d think he’d have learned after the last time, but maybe it was Ava who should have learned not to rescue more than one clone at a time. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. “Just—get unique haircuts. Now.” She shooed them away. “Go!”

The clones glared mutinously at her and each other, but thankfully took their drama and left her with her coffee. Rescuing her clones was the right thing to do. They deserved the right to live their lives and make their own choices. She just wished they’d stop choosing Gary.

_iii._

“Hey, Ava,” a voice purred in her ear as a warm, hard body pushed her up against the break room counter. An erection pressed up against her ass and Ava saw red.

Her hand tightened painfully on the handle of the coffee pot as she very, very carefully set it back down. She wouldn’t want to accidentally throw it in someone’s face. Or break someone’s nose. Or cut off someone’s dick. “Gary,” Ava ground out through gritted teeth.

“Oh my god, Director Sharpe!” Gary jerked back back so fast it was a miracle he didn’t give himself whiplash. He paled as she turned to face him. “I am so sorry. I never meant to—”

“Sexually harass me?” Ava suggested dryly. No, she was pretty sure it was the _other _Ava he’d meant to grope. Not that it made it any better. How many of her clones had he slept with by now? She’d been so busy trying to respect their right to choose that she had let this go on for far too long. “The Time Bureau has very strict rules about appropriate office conduct.” In the nearly two years she’d been rescuing clones, he’d broken a whole lot of them.

Gary cringed. “Please don’t fire me,” he whimpered before attempting to flee in panic. He managed to clip the trash can on the way out, knocking it down. A wave of paper cups and napkins spread across the floor. 

Ava watched silently as he frantically scooped up handfuls of trash. There was something darkly satisfying in his raw terror, but she wasn’t going to fire him. Despite Gary’s general Gary-ness and creepy obsession with her, he was actually a fairly competent agent. She didn’t want him gone from the Bureau, just far, far away from any version of her. She turned back to the her abandoned coffee mug and began to consider assignments. Something insanely dangerous might be nice. 

_iv._

“So, Gary,” Sara said as they settled on the bed in her quarters. 

Fucking Gary. And just when Legends movie night on the _Waverider_ had been going so well. _The Phantom Menace_ was no _Revenge of the Sith_, but every trilogy had to start somewhere and at least it wasn’t _Attack of the Clones_. Sara quietly feeling her up under the blanket hadn’t hurt either, that is, until Gary and Constantine had shown up to ruin the mood. 

"Didn't you ever wonder why he's palling around with Constantine now?” It had been a stroke of genius pairing those two up. Now Gary had another sexy, yet emotionally unavailable mentor to pine over and she didn’t have to deal with any of it. 

"I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what John and Gary get up to together,” Sara said with a shrug. “I just figured Gary was doing some freelance sidekicking.” 

"He slept with one of the clones.” 

Sara made thoughtful noises as Ava explained. It wasn’t that she wanted to sleep with Gary. That was literally the last thing she wanted. And it wasn’t like she cared if he saw her as a real, individual person and not an interchangeable sex object. Except, actually, she did care and she was still wasn’t over him rubbing her face in just how little their friendship meant to him. 

"Hey," Sara bumped Ava's shoulder and hooked their pinkie fingers together, "pinkie promise that I'll never sleep with any of your clones.” 

Ava laughed and bumped Sara back. "Thanks, I guess.” 

“I also promise not to sleep with Gary,” Sara added, a smile playing about her lips. 

“You’re still sleeping with me though, right?” 

“Oh, hell yeah.” 

Sara reached for her and that was pretty much the end of movie night. That was okay though. Ava already had fake memories of seeing this one in theaters. 

_v._

“You know I love you, right?” Sara said later after a night of really amazing sex followed by a mission to London and a light disemboweling. She’d already said it back in the med bay, but Ava wasn’t going to object to hearing it again and again, over and over, for the rest of their lives. “The real, except no substitutes, you.” 

“I know.” Ava gently stroked Sara’s arm. Even with Gideon’s advanced medical tech, it would still be at least another week before her girlfriend would be well enough for sex, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her from some light cuddling. She’d wasted so much time on existential dread and here was the one person who’d never doubted she was real.

“You know,” Ava said, flopping back to stare up at the ceiling, “in a way, this whole Gary thing has helped me realize just how unique I actually am.” 

“What do you mean?” Sara propped herself up with a wince. 

Ava sat back up to gently ease Sara back down. “Turns out, I’m the only one with the good sense to fall in love with you.” 


End file.
